Christmas is a long long way away, but it is never too early to start thinking about possible presents you can give your loved or hated ones. If you want to go down a storm with your Islamic friends (if you have any) or you want to cause a worldwide wave of hatred directed towards the infidels in the West I suggest you order the Dashboard Mohammed in your thousands. Here’s waiting for the Catholic Priest version with a little kid bobbing his head.

Sometimes you come across something on the internet which looks so simple, yet is so fan-fucking-tastic. I work pretty much 40mins away from the city (either both in a car or public transport). Now, for those of you that do not know the comfort a Melbourne train gives you let me paint the picture. You, together with several hundred other people have paid through the nose for a ticket. The train arrives already full of other unfortunates. You squeeze in with the knowledge that the poor bastards that have to get on a few stations down the line will have even less room. In a desperate attempt to get a seat you take up smoking and frequent the smokers carriage just to be able to sit down. You eventually arrive at your destination. Late. Wouldn’t it be great if your train journey looked something like this?

We are not normally a fan of the more serious contestants in TV talent contests, but in Bianca Ryan’s case we will make an exception. She is 11 and can actually sing like a little trooper. The panel of judges, including The Hoff and the former editor of The Mirror newspaper were blown away and so will you after watching Bianca do her stuff. The amazing performance of 11 year-old Bianca Ryan on "America's Got Talent"

You can’t pick and mix your own family and that means you are also stuck with their surname. Rather crappy if that surname happens to be the most notorious in the Western world, Hitler. You can do two things. Get that surname changed by deed poll or stick with it ands make the best of it. The Hilters did just that and are proud of their surname.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for some really fucked up shit. Multimillionaire and complete fucking moron Bruce McHanan decided his secret relationship with his daughter Linda McHanan was not enough and wanted to marry her. And guess what, he did. How fucked up can you get that you want to and need to marry your own daughter to feel satsified. Watch the amazing story unfold here.

hmmm why can't I have a poker game like this...